


Misplaced Affection

by Impatiens_capensis



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Cynicism, Internalized Transphobia wrt Martin's relationship with his mom, Introspection, M/M, Martin Blackwood looks like Barnabas Bennett, Trans Martin Blackwood, Unrequited Love, background jon/martin, canon compliant through MAG 189, past Jonah/Barnabas, talk about potential major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impatiens_capensis/pseuds/Impatiens_capensis
Summary: By the time Elias has realized how hard he’s fallen, it’s already too late to do anything about it.An overview of Elias Bouchard’s thoughts and feelings about Martin Blackwood over the course of a little more than a year, leading up to the opening of a door. Written for MartinElias Week 2020.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Elias Bouchard
Kudos: 41
Collections: MartinElias Week 2020





	Misplaced Affection

The first thing that stands out about Martin Blackwood was how much he looked like Barnabas Bennett. Martin is big and tall with dark, curly hair and rosy cheeks and had a mole by his right eye, just like Barnabas was. He stands up straight and makes good eye contact, but has a nervous energy in his awkward smiles and the stiffness of his posture. It isn’t often that Elias was so pointedly reminded of someone from his past, yet this resemblance is too striking to ignore.

Elias feels momentarily wistful. Barnabas was a shallow man with shallow affections, but that had been comforting to Elias, back when he had been Jonah. Sometimes what one needed was a man who would nod along as he pretended he understood about one’s work and wanted just as quickly to get to the more important business of laying down together. Barnabas had been good at following Jonah’s lead, though Jonah suspected Barnabas had not been as satisfied with the pattern of their relationship as Jonah was. 

Elias pushes the feeling down and comes back to himself. There’s ultimately no significance to the similarity. It’s nothing more than happenstance. There’s limited variation in what people look like, so it’s inevitable that some will randomly look similar. Martin isn’t Barnabas and he never will be. Elias knows that. He also knows that, like Barnabas before him, Martin will be expendable. 

The reason Elias opts to hire Martin is unrelated to his appearance. It’s merely the fact that Martin lied on his CV that gets Martin hired, so he can feed the Eye in its place of power.

* * *

Later, Peter chooses Martin as his target in a bet that will go into effect if Elias has to be away from the Institute. Elias nudges him towards that choice, of course, but he still finds a humorous irony in the fact that it’s Martin that a Lukas wants to pull into the Lonely. He refuses to dwell on the matter any further than that. 

* * *

While the Archivist and the others are out trying to stop the Unknowing, Martin stays behind and burns statements. Elias can’t stand for the destruction of his records that are of academic and historical significance like that, even if individually burning statements that already had audio backups was quite possibly the least effective way to do that. It would almost be cute, were it not so offensive.

Elias presses on the reasons for this outburst, asking if it was Jon’s plan. 

Martin snaps back at him. “Is it really so hard to believe that I hate you as well?”

“No, I just find it hard to believe that you would act on it,” Elias says bluntly. Martin has shown himself to be the kind of secondary character that things happen to, rather than the other way around.

Needless to say, it will be easy to subdue this step of whatever half-baked plan is being enacted. “You might want to turn the tape off, Martin.”

Martin rants for a bit about how pathetic his life is and how evil Elias is like this is news before Elias can get to work. 

Elias concedes to the point that he should’ve used Martin’s feelings for Jon to break him, he is lying. It’s true that Martin is naïve about Jon, but Elias needs things between the two to remain as they are, if Jon is to escape getting marked by the Lonely. It’s a good thing Martin is so stubborn that being mocked for his feelings only leads him to double down on them.

After wondering for so long what had gone wrong, Martin finally knows what his mother’s problem with him was. He feels the venom she felt towards him. He knows it wouldn’t’ve been like that if he’d just forced himself to live as a woman. 

He breaks easily and predictably, reduced to tears in front of Elias. It’s a good look for him. 

* * *

In an unexpected turn of events, Martin brings in a police officer to arrest Elias, having given the police the recording of Elias beating Jurgen Leitner to death. Martin tentatively smiles as he watches Elias get taken away by the cop, who is unnecessarily rough with him. It’s the most beautiful Elias has ever seen Martin. 

* * *

The Lonely is useful, in part, because it is theoretically easy to overcome. The Lonely is, in large part, the fear that no one will ever be able to truly be able to know and love another person. The problem is that people do that to a degree they believe is meaningful all the time. It is possible to play the Lonely for a fool using anyone who knows and loves another person and is known and loved in turn. Knowing how to overcome the Lonely makes an alliance with its avatars convenient. As long as Elias makes the right choices of those who will face the Forsaken, he will always have the upper hand.

The saccharine feelings that can overcome the Lonely are lies, of course. One person’s knowledge of another is always imperfect and love always comes with conditions. People love so many people who, if they truly knew them, would have broken their conditions to be ‘worthy’ of love. 

It’s admirable, the way the teeth of these truths sink into Martin as he affiliates himself with the Lonely. Those realizations had been a long time coming. 

* * *

When they meet in the Panopticon, it’s because Peter thinks he can get Martin to kill Elias. 

Martin makes the right choice and lets Elias live. His reason for his choice isn’t because he thinks it’s too great an evil, like Elias had anticipated back when Peter chose him. It’s simply because he sees through Peter’s lies and refuses to play along. Elias couldn’t be more pleased.

* * *

By the time Elias has realized how hard he’s fallen, it’s already too late to do anything about it. Not that there was much that would’ve been done about the tender feelings he’s developed for Martin, aside from what he’s already planned for. He’ll continue to watch over the man and lend his support as far as it can go. 

He imagines what it would be like if he had made Martin his Archive. Would Martin have risen to the occasion of what Elias needed from him or would he have broken under the pressure? It’s impossible to say. 

What he can say is things worked out well for both of them with Jon. Jon, who loves Martin enough to walk into the Lonely and come back hand in hand. Jon, who will protect Martin in Elias’ stead after the world is remade. 

Good for them, really. After working so hard to get to this point, they should enjoy this gift of self-delusion while it lasts. They should love each other until it tears them both to pieces, until Jon cannot help but understand that it’s easier not trying to be human. 

Because if the time comes when it’s necessary, Martin will ultimately be expendable. And both Jon and Elias will watch with distant pity as he dies.


End file.
